Garden Gnomes and Such
by esmmr
Summary: Molly has a question for three of her sons! - a oneshot loosely based on King Lear.


**A/N: This is written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition. This fanfic is loosely based on** ** _King Lear_** **by Shakespeare, but with the roles switched around a bit. Molly is like King Lear, Fred, George, and Ron are Regan, Goneril, and Cordelia.**

 **Team: Tutshill Tornados**

 **Position: Keeper**

* * *

Garden Gnomes and Such

Ron sat undisturbed in his room as he wrote a letter to Harry. In a few days Harry would arrive at the Burrow himself to go to the Quidditch World Cup, but until then Ron thought he'd fill Harry in on a few things about the match. He had barely begun writing on the parchment when he heard a loud crash from downstairs. Assuming it was Fred and George causing chaos, Ron shrugged it off and continued writing.

More crashing ensued and then Ron heard the familiar yells of his mother. Whatever Fred and George had done, they had managed to tick their mother off more than usual.

"RONALD!"

Ron jumped at the call of his name and the surprisingly loud volume of his mother's voice. He set his quill down and grudgingly made his way down to where his mother was. His first assumption, as he made his way down the stairs, was that the twins were trying to pin their most recent endeavor on him.

He entered the kitchen to see his mother sitting on one of the chairs, tapping her foot impatiently. Fred and George stood behind her with almost serious looks on their faces. Almost.

"Yeah, what is it?" Ron asked when his mother didn't say something as soon as she saw him.

"Did you let a garden gnome into the house?" his mother asked.

"What? No, or course not. It was probably George and Fred," said Ron, pointing a finger to the twins.

"Nope," said Fred. "We were in Percy's room turning all his underwear-"

"The point is," interrupted George, "that we were busy and we saw you suspiciously lurking about earlier this morning."

"I was getting a cup of tea," Ron deadpanned.

"Ron," said his mother, "I won't be mad if you admit to putting a garden gnome into the house."

Ron didn't believe her for a second. "But I didn't do it."

His mother sighed and put her face in her hands. She looked up at all three of her kids and said, "Will someone just please admit to it?"

"Mum, you know Fred and I love you very-"

"Very much. We would never commit such a travesty."

Ron nearly rolled his eyes. His brothers could be such suck-ups to their mother when they wanted to be.

Molly looked at Ron, seemingly almost as annoyed at the twins' comments as he was, and waited for him to speak.

"I didn't do it; they're framing me," Ron said exasperated. Molly looked a bit unconvinced so Ron said, "There's nothing left for me to say, because I didn't do it."

Ron suddenly felt tired. It was too early in the morning for him to deal with the twins' antics. He just wanted to head back to his room and finish his letter to Harry. Now that he thought about it, this was definitely Fred and George's way of getting back at him for taking parchment from their room. Ron had known that Fred was planning on writing to Angelina Johnson but had taken the parchment anyways to invite Harry to the Quidditch World Cup a few weeks earlier.

Ron figured that if the parchment was the reason why the twins were seemingly trying to frame him, then they were dumber than he previously thought.

Ron looked at his mother and could practically see her thinking. He knew it probably wasn't looking too good for him.

"Mom," he said, "you can't honestly think that these two gits-"

"Language!"

"Aren't trying to set me up." Ron finished.

Molly sighed. She could easily believe that Fred and George were framing Ron, but she could also just as easily believe Ron had done something like this. She remembered a summer a few years ago when he had done something similar. Ron had the brilliant idea to give the ghoul in the attic a large stick swathed in a tablecloth. He thought it would be quieter when the ghoul decided to bang against the pipes, but the ghoul had just taken the tablecloth off the stick and banged on the pipes even louder than before. Who knew what Ron had been thinking when he put the garden gnome in the sitting room and let it burrow into the fireplace. If he had let this garden gnome in, that is.

Molly sighed yet again and pointed up the stairs. "Ron, just go up to your room while I sort this out."

Ron gasped at her, "But-"

"Now!"

Ron slowly trudged up the stairs and to his room, muttering under his breath.

Molly saw Fred and George share a look. "You two better not be pinning this on your brother or I'll make sure you never see the light of day all summer."

Fred and George shared another look. "Why would we try to blame poor Ronny?" said Fred. George nearly snickered but covered it up with a cough.

"It's not that hard to believe Ron did this, Mum," Said George. "Remember the thing with the ghoul a couple summers ago?

"Alright," said Molly, "go on and do your chores while I think this over."

Fred and George walked away seemingly content and left her to her thoughts.

Molly decided she'd make lunch while she tried to decipher who the culprit was. She waved her wand and sat back as six turkey sandwiches began to make themselves.

The question: who would have been able to get a garden gnome into the house in the first place? The answer: Molly had no clue. Garden gnomes were nasty little pests that bit and fought whoever tried to grab them.

That was when Molly got the brilliant idea to check the hands of her subjects for bites. She nearly hit herself for not thinking of it earlier.

Quickly she called three of the four sons that currently resided in their house down to the kitchen.

Fred and George came grinning down the stairs while Ron Scowled and kept muttering under his breath.

After he had been sent up to his room, Ron began furiously writing to Harry about how he thought Fred and George were merciless twits.

He was sure Fred and George had found a way to place all the evidence on him. His other would probably forbid him from going to the World Cup.

"All I did was take a piece of parchment." Ron said quietly.

Fred turned around sharply and said, "It was a charmed piece of expensive parchment paper. I was charmed to turn into a swan after saying the letter out loud-"

"In a seductive voice." finished George. "Fred was going to send a letter to Angelina with it."

Oh, that explained Harry's somewhat confused reply to the letter. Ron could just imagine Harry opening the letter and hearing a 'seductive voice' inviting him to the Quidditch World Cup. Ron tried to stifle a laugh, but ultimately failed.

"Oh, you won't be laughing for long, Ron." said Fred, grinning

"The garden gnome decided to make its new nest in the fireplace and somehow managed to knock over the floo powder." said George.

"So Mum was pretty pissed this morning."

"You probably won't get to go to the World Cup."

"Maybe she'll disown you." Fred laughed.

Ron scoffed. "She wouldn't disown me for a garden gnome. It wasn't even my fault!"

"Yeah, well, she doesn't know that." said George.

Ron scowled, and pushed past the twins and made his way into the kitchen. His mother was sitting at the kitchen table and he approached her.

"Let me see your hands," she said once she saw Ron.

"What?" he asked bewildered.

"Your hands," she repeated, reaching out for him.

Ron cautiously put his hands out in front of him. His mother inspected them thoroughly, though for what he wasn't sure.

When she had seemingly finished, she called for Fred and George's hands. They were just as confused as Ron.

"What are you doing?" asked Fred as Molly turned his hands over.

"Checking for gnome bites."

Ron started to feel a bit hopeful. However, when he looked at Fred and George, he saw they looked completely relaxed.

"Is lunch ready Mum?" Ron's little sister, Ginny, asked. She had just arrived in the kitchen.

"Yes," said their mother. "Go ahead and help yourself to a sandwich."

Ginny did so and both the twin and Ron watched as she began to eat it. Ron reached for a sandwich, but his mother slapped his hand away.

Ron snatched his hand away and said, "Why can't I have one? I didn't let a garden gnome in the house! I promise."

Ginny looked up from her sandwich. "What's this about garden gnomes? George didn't you say something about bribing a gnome to do something?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." George said, folding his arms in from of his chest. Ginny smirked.

"Yeah you do," she said. "I saw you and Fred digging around the garden last night."

Fred groaned, George scowled, and Molly turned to Ginny.

"You saw them looking for garden gnomes?" Molly asked. Ginny nodded in response. "Well then, Ron you're off the hook. Go ahead and have a sandwich. Fred, George, go up to your room while I figure out how you're going to pay for the floo powder."

Fred and George headed back up to their room, clearly unhappy. Ron took a sandwich and began to eat.

"I can't believe you thought I brought a garden gnome into the house, Mum." Ron said. "The whole thing practically screamed Fred and George."

"I'm sorry Ron," said his mother. "I'll make you a jar of fudge to make up for it."

Ron smiled with a mouthful of turkey sandwich. This whole thing was worth it if it meant he got a jar of fudge.


End file.
